The Family that Prays Together….
by Don Hooser

When is the best time to learn a foreign language, computers, or snow skiing? When you are very young! When is the best time to learn to pray? When you are very young!

Prayer, like anything else, must be learned, and it's a priceless part of our education. Even Jesus' disciples had to ask, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1). Anyone can learn to pray, but it's easier to learn as a child. The best time for a child to begin learning to pray is when he is barely old enough to repeat words, or maybe earlier.

Who should be the teachers? Primarily the family, especially the parents. How should they teach? Partly by example - by letting their children hear them pray, and partly by giving the children experience and practice during family prayer.

Praying for our children and with our children should be a top priority. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14). Parents are leading the children to Christ when they lead them in prayer.

What is family prayer? It can be just one member leading the family in a prayer. What is even better is when everyone in the family takes a turn with a short prayer. This way everyone hears the prayers of the others. (If you have no family, you may find the opportunity to join in prayer with another family.)

Is family prayer difficult? Not at all, except that lazy human nature works against us. When we lack the desire, we need to discipline ourselves to do it anyway. Sadly, some parents are too embarrassed to let anyone hear them pray. We must "swallow that pride" for our own sake and for our children's sake! Families used to do almost everything together, and prayer was naturally a part of it. Once you get started, it will soon become easy and natural for you.

Is family prayer enjoyable? Emphatically, yes! The more you do it, the more you'll like it. It's inspiring to see how God answers your prayers and the prayers of your children. It's worshipping God and spending quality time with your family. It feels good to know you're doing the right thing. It's the supreme family activity, the best of family traditions!

There is the inspiring satisfaction of drawing close to God and drawing close to each other at the same time. It is a time of spiritual intimacy. It is a time of bonding and sharing. There is family togetherness in something awesome and special: communicating with our Creator and Father in heaven!

Parents enjoy a special treat. They have the gratifying experience of hearing their children express to God what is in their hearts. They witness their growth in maturity and communication skills. They see dramatic evidence that their effort is paying off as they witness their children's spiritual growth.
Parents are inspired and even amazed by the tender and profound thoughts that are expressed in their children's prayers. Kids say the sweetest things! A parent will think often of what Jesus said in Matthew 21:16: "Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have perfected praise!" Jesus also said that we are to "become as little children" (Matthew 18:3). Parents are learning from their children as well as the other way around!

Family prayers can be better quality than private prayers. Aren't "two heads - or 4 or 5 - better than one?" When one is tired at the end of the day, it is tempting to pray a short, silent prayer. By praying together, each one is motivated to set a good example for the rest by praying an audible, more heartfelt prayer. And what one forgets to pray about, someone else may remember. By the time of the "amen," everyone will have a good feeling that the combined effort has made a more complete prayer.

We need family Bible study along with family prayer. We need the two-way communication with God. Jesus taught us not to rely on memorized prayers, but it is fine to read or quote scriptures as part of our prayers. We hear much about the importance of "family values," and two of the most valuable tools in teaching those values are family prayer and family Bible study.

Is family prayer a teaching tool? Yes, praying together teaches much more than just the way to pray. As a child listens to his parents talking to God, God become much more real to the child. The child learns what values and virtues are important to his parents. He learns about thanksgiving, praise, repentance, confession, forgiveness, love, compassion, the Kingdom of God, and relying on God for needs and desires. When the child prays, this helps him or her to internalize those values. This is a partial fulfillment of Hebrews 8:10: "I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts."

How do children learn? Mainly by imitating the examples of others. Parents are usually their main role models. So don't try to hide your personal prayer, Bible study and fasting from your children. Children learn what is important by seeing what is important to you. Your actions speak louder than words. Children soon see for themselves whether or not you are seeking God's Kingdom first in your life.

If you're not already having family prayer, how do you start? First, make it a habit to pray at meal times and on other special occasions. When they are old enough, the children can take their turns giving thanks at the meals. Then gently invite your family to join you for family prayer. If anyone in the family is reluctant at first to pray, just ask him or her to kneel and listen while the others pray. Everyone will probably participate eventually.

Children can get into the habit of kneeling with the family and listening even before they can talk. The family may want to hold hands, or put their arms around each other. When a child can talk, lead him through a simple prayer by having him repeat after you a phrase at a time. Have each one in the family take a turn ending with "in Jesus' name." That is the cue for the next one to pray. When the last one has prayed, everyone says "amen."

As children get older, they will start thinking of things to add on their own. They will begin to want to express their own ideas. As they take their first "baby steps," be sure to respect their efforts. A child will soon learn to naturally talk with God, which is the best kind of prayer.

How often will you want to have family prayer? How about every day! Or as often as possible. It's a great way to end each day, talking to God together as a family! And it helps your children establish the habit of daily prayer. "Practice makes perfect" - or practically perfect. There is no need to omit family prayer even when you have overnight guests. If they stay with you, ask them if they would like to pray with you.

Before or after prayer is a good time for family discussion, often including events of the day. This too is beneficial and bonding.

Another good time for one or more to lead in prayer is when you are in the car after starting on a short or long trip. This is like "walking and talking with God,", except this is riding and talking with God.

A very important time for family prayer is when the family is facing a serious problem, or they have heard of someone else facing a serious problem. Sometimes an entire family will decide to fast together. God is well pleased with a family's wholehearted and united effort to humble themselves and to seek God's will. That family will be blessed indeed.

There are so many things to pray about! As a family, you can help each other think of the many important needs. It's also important to remember to thank God for all His answers to our prayers.

If you haven't been having family prayer, you've been missing out. Beseech God to help you get started and to stick with it. As families, let's kneel together, open our lips and our hearts, and talk to our loving heavenly Father!

Why is it so important to be a family that prays together? First of all, there is power in prayer. A family that prays will receive answers! Secondly, a family that prays together is together. They are getting together with God and with each other to do something very spiritual and special. They are becoming more united with God and more united with each other. Thirdly a family that prays together stays together.